In August 2011 Dan Faber invited a minister friend of his to speak at his church in Dingley Village. Pr Jay Bartlett from the USA was visiting Sydney and Dan, on a whim, invited him down to Melbourne. Jay prayed about it and responded saying that this was the real reason God wanted him in Australia – to visit Dingley Village.
Rach and I heard about this and decided to go and hear him speak on the Sunday night. We didn’t really have any great expectations, but were interested to see what happened. Previous to this I had had a sneaking suspicion that I had an evil spirit and had spent time while in the show telling it to leave, but nothing really happened, so I had given up. However, before we went, I had decided to ask Dan if I could spend some time with Jay to get it checked out.
That Sunday night Dan asked me to play the keyboard for their worship as they didn’t have a pianist available, so I agreed. Towards the end of the music practice I got a huge shock. Steve walked in. Steve was a guy I had gone through high school with, who had come to Christ through me during first year University. He had also gone through some of Primary School, High School and University with my business partner Mark and was his best man at Mark’s wedding. Steve was also my wife’s boyfriend before I went out with her and this had caused HUGE issues in our marriage and pre-marriage, issues that had plagued our marriage and had slowly been suppressed over the years. I had held bitterness, unforgiveness, anger ,rage and more for many, many years and then had tried many, many times to forgive and move on, but never with much success. On top of that, about five years into our marriage, he cheated Mark and I in a business agreement which devastated Mark and fuelled the fire of my hatred for him. From the start of all that, I can’t remember a single time that I had seen him in different situations, where I hadn’t felt anger, hatred or being uncomfortable. After 15 years since all that pain began, I thought things were relatively OK, as I didn’t think about him too often any more and he lived in Hong Kong. So, seeing him there that night was a complete shock and just brought everything up again. I was civil and said hello that night, but was definitely stand-offish and left that evening in a severely withdrawn state.
That night Rach forced the issue and I admitted being upset and having the experience of having all that old stuff thrown up in my face again. She wasn’t happy, but understood and then just made a stand stating both our positions in Christ and that just snapped me out of it. This in itself was unusual as typically in the past I would just withdraw and be resentful and angry for a time until it passed. However, at about 3am the next morning I woke up and for about an hour had hate-filled, murderous thoughts about Steve until I finally snapped out of it and went back to sleep.
Dan had organised for me to meet with Jay on the Wednesday morning so Jay came over to our house with Dan (nobody else was home). Jay asked me a number of questions about where I was at, family history, personal history etc. However, the conversation started with talking about (among other things) Steve, as Jay was a good friend of Steve, and it very quickly became apparent that I had some serious hate and unforgiveness for Steve. So, Jay went to work.
First of all we went through a repentance process and Jay was clear with regards to me forgiving my brother, using scripture, so I repented and genuinely repented.
Then, using the authority of name of Jesus, communion, bible verses and love Jay prayed for me and very quickly I felt “something” inside me and I knew what it was. After a little while of Jay praying, worshipping, reading bible verses and taking communion, I started to have words and emotional reactions come out of me that were not mine. I was familiar with them, but I now knew that they were not mine. Jay had spoken to me at the beginning and advised that I not restrict feelings/actions/emotions so that he was best able to deal with the spirits – I assume so that he would not be hampered by my defences e.g. being worried about what they would think of me. So, I then began speaking the words and also began fully experiencing those emotions. I could stop them if I wished, but I was a part of them and was fully immersed – I guess this would be called manifesting. My voice was different, my words and actions were not mine and I felt very strong emotions such as arrogance, extreme anger, hatred, being mocking, fear, desperation and other similar things. I had some strange physical sensations as well – my arms had intense pins and needles, my throat got constricted and my tongue was completely rigid at times. It was a very strange experience, but I was not scared – I was a part of it. Jay began communicating with the evil spirits and asked questions of them to get information that he needed. After a while he discovered five spirits – No, Anger, Hatred, Filth and Fear.
“No” was first and was a spirit that was commissioned by a leader (unknown) and its mission was to kill greatness. It was “No” to living, “No” to dreams, “No” to leadership and just wanted to keep me small and restricted. This was the strongest spirit dealt with at this point. During this process I clearly remember Jay reading bible verses to me and twice I struck the Bible out of his hands causing it to fly across the room. “No” was desperate not to leave and kept talking about his commission and how important it was for him to stay, but in the end he had to go. At the same time Jay also commanded the other 4 spirits to join “No” to be cast out. The experience of it leaving was quite uncomfortable. I felt a larger and larger “lump” in my throat which moved into my mouth with my tongue going rigid and it stayed this way for quite a while as Jay was commanding the spirit to leave. Eventually, with physical effort on my behalf as well, I “coughed” the spirits out and I remember declaring internally to myself at the same time that they were gone in that cough. I then just flopped back on the couch, my body completely relaxed – exhausted and at peace.
During that time Jay had spoken to the spirits and commanded them to look at Jesus and tell him what Jesus was saying. The three things that came out of this were:
- “Freedom is a must”
- “We are doomed”
- “Healing must come”
The first and third words have been something that I have held onto tightly since then.
All up, Jay and Dan prayed for me for about 3-4 hours. To me it felt like about 30 minutes.
After that I got them lunch, thanked Jay with all my heart and we parted company.
I was not quite sure how to treat life from that point on. I had never had deliverance before and I was somewhat shocked and stunned by the experience. Over the next few days I was quite subdued, but somewhat excited by what had happened and hopeful for the future. I also immediately wanted to read the Bible, pray, pray in tongues and just spend time with God. This was very, very unusual for me.
I also noticed a complete change in attitude towards Steve and I realised that all the hatred and unforgiveness was completely gone. Not a trace left. No resentment, no anger, no bitterness – nothing. For almost 15 years I had tried to give that up and forgive him with no success – now it was completely gone. Completely. I was utterly, utterly astounded and shocked.
On the Friday after a couple of days of praying and time with God, I was quite concerned as I started to notice similar “symptoms” to those I had experienced on Wednesday – a lump in my throat and excessive negative emotional reactions to the things of God. I tried to ignore it, but it soon became obvious that there was more stuff there. Jay was leaving the next day and he was booked completely solid until he left, so there was no chance of seeing him, so I offered to drive him to the airport, which I did the next day. He was very encouraging and from that conversation I decided to get some more deliverance.
So I organised with Dan to have deliverance at the house of his parents-in-law. The people I asked to be there were Dan, Steve (the same Steve referred to earlier) and his wife Coria and the Senior Pastor of my church – Pastor Dan. Jay had held a church meeting on the Wednesday night (same day he saw me) in which my brother-in-law Kristin had had an incredible deliverance and my sister got to see what was in her. By the grace of God, Pastor Dan was at that meeting and was present and participating in the 9pm to 2am deliverance of Kristin. Pastor Dan had only been involved in a handful of deliverances previously, but his openness to the things of God and commitment to seeing people freed was just incredible and I thank God for having a senior pastor like him. So it was great to have him there that Sunday night. Steve and Coria had the most deliverance experience out of all of us, having been involved with Jay for some time and I note that Steve is now a completely different man compared to the person he was – he is sold out for God.
So we began the evening. Steve was mostly leading the group as he had the most experience and one of the first things he did was to have me declare my submission to Pastor Dan, to establish Pastor Dan’s authority (for greater effectiveness against the spirits). I look back with shame at my response, as I hesitated to do this and said that with some reluctance I would submit to him. I pray that God continues to deal with my pride.
After this, there was a mixture of bible verses, confession by me of stuff that was coming to mind to confess, praying, communion etc. After a while it was obvious to me and the others that a spirit was coming up in me. I experienced defiance, had my eyes firmly closed and refused communion when offered to me, closing my mouth tightly and on 2 occasions actually knocked the communion cup to the ground, spilling the contents on the floor. I myself felt a sense of horror at what I was doing when I did this. They were commanding the spirit to respond, to speak, but the spirit just refused and my experience was of smug, extremely arrogant satisfaction. Eventually however, as they persisted with the name of Jesus the spirit started to respond, but not with words – only snarls. They kept persisting and I (and the others later) noted that Pastor Dan had the most effect on the spirit – I believe this was because of his spiritual authority as my Senior Pastor. After more persisting, eventually the snarls became more and more aggressive until they were growls and occasionally roars. Even at the repeated demand from everyone in the room, the spirit would not speak. This kept going and gradually escalating, until, still with my eyes firmly shut, I slowly stood up and walked to the middle of the room, growling and roaring, ignoring all commands from everyone. My experience was one of surprise (that I could stand up and walk) and evil delight. I remember then pointing my hands in the shape of gun, arms fully outstretched, slowly moving it around the room – this was cut short however by a command to put down the “weapon”. However, then I remember outstretching one arm with a pointed finger and moving that slowly around the room, as if I was searching for someone. Somewhere around that time the spirit said its first words – “I am free” with utter evil satisfaction and ecstatic arrogance. I had a strong sense that I was going to somehow attack Dan (not Pastor Dan) and Coria, but was biding my time. After slowly moving my pointed arm around the room and not finding what I was looking for, I placed my feet in a firmly rooted position and then began to lift my arms slowly into the air. As my arms rose I began to roar without restraint and once my arms were in the air I began to roar the word “COME”, again and again and then I saw above me a large whirlwind made up of evil spirits. At that point Dan (a 6 foot 7 inch man) was physically thrown down without being touched, he got up, was knocked down again, then left the room rapidly and fell over again. I opened my mouth wide and my full intention was to draw the entire whirlwind of spirits into myself through my mouth and then unleash a mighty, unholy fury on the people around me. I thank God that at that moment Coria said “TELL MATT TO COME BACK” and that point my full consciousness immediately returned and with utter horror I realised what I had been about to do and I collapsed in hysterical tears, sobbing “sorry, I’m so sorry” over and over while Coria hugged me.
After I had calmed down we began to talk over what had happened and I can’t remember the specifics of the conversation, but eventually the topic of gaming and the fact that I was the leader of an online gaming clan (club) came up. We began to talk about it and were wondering if it was something I should give up, when all of a sudden the demon took over again and began to yell things like “NO, THEY ARE MY MEMBERS”, and “DON’T TOUCH THEM – I RECRUITED THEM” very aggressively. The others called me back to jolt me back and I did, but it was now very obvious what the spirit was connected to. We tried to talk about it a few times more, but each time the spirit began to manifest more and more aggressively and the others were very worried about their physical safety, particularly of Coria (Dan did not come back into the room afterwards), until eventually Steve just said to the spirit “Fine, it’s fine – you can keep your members” in order to pacify it. After this point I was in a state where I felt like I was going insane – it felt like the spirit and I were struggling for control and that the spirit was only just under the surface and kept breaking through almost at will. I began to walk around the room with a glass of water saying “water, drinking water” repeatedly so that I could focus on something and maintain control. Looking back, I no longer have judgement for “crazy people” seen muttering to themselves in the street. I felt like I was going insane and was genuinely scared that I would not return to myself again.
After some time had passed though, I grew gradually calmer and felt a little more in control. We had a problem though – when Dan had left the room he had called the police because he was so concerned for the safety of everyone in the house and there were four police cars waiting outside the front of the house. The police kept wanting to come in and talk with me to see if I was OK, but I didn’t want to see them so there were numerous trips between them and me by Pastor Dan to try and sort something out. They suggested calling an ambulance and have the ambulance officers check me out, but it was going to be a long time before one was available. The police kept insisting on seeing me, but I was really, really worried that they would come in, question me as to what had happened and cause the spirit to manifest. I knew they carried guns and that I might not be able to control what happened, so eventually Pastor Dan convinced them to leave and they did.
I was petrified of going home and having something e.g. a dream trigger the demon to manifest again while I was at home with my wife and kids, so I made it clear that I didn’t want to go home. Pastor Dan immediately offered and arranged to spend the night with me and Pastor Bryan in a local hotel which I was so grateful for. So we left for the hotel and met Pastor Bryan in the room, tried to relax as best as possible and then went to bed. I felt the spirit stirring several times during the night, but I was very conscious of having my senior pastor and a church elder in the same room and the spirit did not manifest again that night. Unfortunately Pastor Bryan’s snoring kept Pastor Dan and I from having a decent sleep.
The next couple of days were not much fun, but Tuesday or Wednesday night we continued, but this time with Pastor Dan, Pastor Tom (another church elder) and Pastor Bryan. This time we met in the church, in Pastor Dan’s office. That evening was a hard slog, with the main spirit encountered on Sunday night being heavily resistant, but at least communicating a bit more. I confessed things that I could think of when I could when appropriate. In the communication between Pastor Dan and the spirit, we discovered several other spirits as well. They were:
- Sentinel (main spirit, whose job was to protect)
- Mocking (pride)
- Righteousness (we referred to this one as False Righteousness) as it responded “Not YOUR righteousness – OUR righteousness” when asked to clarify what it was.
When the spirit called Lucifer was identified, immediately the Pastor’s declared Sentinel a liar (Sentinel was giving the names of the spirits) and moved on. After much persistence to try and cast out Sentinel, the Pastors eventually concluded that fasting and praying was required, so we finished for the night. I was comfortable returning home, though somewhat fearful of how I would sleep and dream. Thankfully all during this period I slept well and did not have any bad dreams at all.
The next day I contacted Jay (conference call with Steve and Jay) to talk about what had happened and get his input. Out of that conversation, the feedback was:
- Lots of encouragement from Jay and encouragement to continue – he sees many people start this process and then become fearful, or deceived so that they don’t continue and get rid of the spirits
- That the link between Sentinel and gaming was obvious and needed to be dealt with. Jay confirmed that my leadership of the gaming clan was a huge stronghold and when the spirit was summoning the whirlwind of spirits on the Sunday night, he believed that the spirit was calling upon the spirits within the other members.
- To break the power of that spirit, I needed to destroy all physical connections and renounce my involvement and leadership of the clan.
- With regards to “Lucifer”, Jay explained that there are many evil spirits that take on the names of Satan – Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub etc. They are not Satan himself (he is just one spirit), but can have the effect of creating disbelief in their existence or creating fear by using Satan’s names. I was relieved by this.
- Given the amount of resistance from Sentinel, Steve suggested going for the other weaker spirits first. If Sentinel was drawing power from them, then removing them first would weaken him and make him easier to deal with.
We reconvened again that night with Pastor Dan, Pastor Bryan and Kristin (my brother-in-law who I mentioned had had deliverance previously). I had told Pastor Dan earlier that day what Jay’s feedback was, so he was up to speed. We started by printing a list off of all the members in the clan and my job was to break any spiritual ties and repent. My experience was one of dismay and anger as Sentinel (and some of my own emotions) reacted. I had taken over leadership of the clan about two years ago and poured my heart and soul into building it into a stable, strong clan, recruiting members based on friendships and commitment. I had organised a number of events when members would travel from around Australia to hang out for several days to a week at a time. I had spent thousands of hours in the clan, building it, building relationships with members and living in that environment. The clan was well recognised and respected around the world and was the best Australian clan in its field by a long way. This was a really big deal for me, but more so for Sentinel, who had hooked into other people also addicted to online gaming.
So we went through the list, one member at a time, breaking ties, renouncing, repenting. Some members caused a very strong reaction in Sentinel, shouting things like “No, not him” and crying, but with the support of the guys and my will, we went through the list in entirety. The hardest part was when I had to renounce my own alias. All online gamers create an alias for themselves, which identifies them to other players. It is like your name, but only applies online. It is essentially creating another identity, as there is little accountability online and environments can often be filthy and perverted. When I had to renounce my alias, it felt as if I was destroying a personality that was me. But I knew it was the right thing and I submitted and renounced that alias and broke its hold and connections with me in the name of Jesus. Pastor Dan then charged me to never use that alias again and destroy all connection to that false identity. I, though still in pain, readily agreed.
We started to pray after a while, and though Sentinel was weaker, we weren’t really getting anywhere and I knew that for things to progress I needed to destroy the connection with my old identity and break the connections and the clan as Jay had said. So we finished for the night and set the next meeting for Friday. Kristin agreed to come back to my house and be with me as I began destroying my online entity and stuff to do with the clan. So Kristin and I went back to my house and that’s what we did. I deleted all the online gaming accounts I had, all accounts I had that used my alias identification, I deleted the clan website completely, made the clan domain name inaccessible by anyone, deleted the gaming servers my clan owned and deleted anything else I could think of related to gaming. I gave Kristin all my hard copies of games which he got rid of. Finally that night, I wrote a letter to all of the members in the clan, in the most sensitive way I could (without holding back) and I outlined exactly what had happened to me and I officially renounced my leadership, broke ties and renounced my old alias completely and declared I would now only be know by my real name. I finished by declaring that I would now be following Jesus. That was one of the hardest emails I have ever written.
The next day, I went through and completely cleaned my life out of gaming. I gathered up my entire computer with monitors, a laptop, all computer equipment related to gaming, sound system and anything else connected in some way and I took them all down to the tip and got rid of them – it was all high-end gaming equipment. I felt like a bit of an idiot at the tip as people watched me throw this stuff out and asked me about what I was throwing out, but I threw it out anyway and then quickly left.
I was very impatient to get to the next deliverance time and was relieved when the time came. I will note for interest sake, that before every single time of deliverance, I felt incredibly nervous. This passed once we got into it. Others reported very similar feelings.
Friday night was the final night and was the most interesting by far.
Pastor Dan, Pastor Bryan, Kristin and I got together again in the evening (all sessions were in the evening for the sake of privacy and to avoid disrupting others). Dan started by taking Kris and Bryan outside to discuss strategy which I found out later was to start with the weaker spirits and remove all of their rights (but not cast them out until the end). During this entire process I was fascinated by how legally structured the spiritual world is. It seems as if there are a number of laws which the spirits know and must operate within and there is an order by which spirits recognise authority. The rights of the spirit seem to be a foundational matter, where a spirit does not have to leave a person if it has a right to stay there e.g. unforgiveness, sexual activity outside marriage, all other sins, negative feelings that have been held onto, a curse spoken by someone, a generational tie and many, many more. The spirits enter by these rights and some seem to also be able to accumulate more rights over time. The strategy is to destroy the power of the spirit by removing its rights e.g. repent, forgive, break ties with the name of Jesus, return words spoken negatively as blessings and much more. In these times I had to be COMPLETELY open, which was humiliating and embarrassing at times, but absolutely necessary.
So Dan started to address the spirits and Sentinel responded, but Dan bound it in the name of Jesus, told it to go back down and then began to deal with the other spirits one by one. This time was somewhat complex and convoluted, so for the sake of getting the story told, I will categorise the evening by the spirits dealt with.
- During the time the spirits were being dealt with, Sentinel kept coming up again as his job was to protect the other spirits. On many occasions Dan had to bind Sentinel and command him back down while he dealt with the weaker spirit.
- In my case, all the spirits manifested differently, with different voices and even different postures and facial contortions. My experience was best described as “channelling”. I was present and aware and I was allowing the manifestations to “flow through” me. At any point I could be addressed or called back. It was a very strange experience. I know others have an experience like mine or the experience of just speaking what they hear the spirit saying without different voices etc.
- When things were happening there was no sense of embarrassment on my behalf.
- Pastor Dan led the process and was the one speaking with the spirits.
- Evil spirits can and do lie.
False Righteousness (FR)
In talking with FR, Dan discovered that there were 2 sets of rights and that it had its hands on two of my children. The rights were:
- Generational rights (the spirit had been passed down from previous generations)
- My wrong attitudes in the area of righteousness, appearance of righteousness, pride
So we stopped to deal with these. I broke all generational ties in the name of Jesus and then spent some time confessing and repenting of my wrong attitudes and things I had done. Once that was all done, Dan commanded the spirit to come up and speak again and then commanded it to leave. It didn’t initially, but we found a very specific right which was dealt with and it had to leave.
Sentinel had to be bound again before Lucifer could be dealt with and when Dan called up Lucifer, the response I experienced was fear and shock. The spirit was actually a very small, weak spirit that had been depending on the protection of Sentinel because it was so weak. When asked what rights Lucifer had, Lucifer responded that he had many small rights, but kept saying that they were small and not worth worrying about. Dan asked how many rights he had and he responded immediately “57”. So, Dan commanded him to list them all. With some “encouragement”, Lucifer began to list them. Kristin wrote them down, but nobody kept any sort of count while this was happening:
2. Little impatience
4. Not giving when I was meant to (Lucifer said there were 10 instances of this)
5. Not giving when I was meant to
6. Not giving when I was meant to
7. Not giving when I was meant to
8. Not giving when I was meant to
9. Not giving when I was meant to
10. Not giving when I was meant to
11. Not giving when I was meant to
12. Not giving when I was meant to
13. Not giving when I was meant to
14. False patience
15. Standing by watching when I should have been acting
16. Not giving love
17. Tying people up
19. Study of wrong things
20. Delighting in the downfall of others
21. Annoying people
22. Bad language
23. Speaking poorly (Lucifer said there were 12 instances of this)
24. Speaking poorly
25. Speaking poorly
26. Speaking poorly
27. Speaking poorly
28. Speaking poorly
29. Speaking poorly
30. Speaking poorly
31. Speaking poorly
32. Speaking poorly
33. Speaking poorly
34. Speaking poorly
35. Wrong thought
36. Wanting a possession
37. Wanting more – not being satisfied
38. An inappropriate look
39. False repentance
42. Showing a big heart when my heart was not big
43. Ruling over those I should not rule over
48. Keeping distance
49. Confessing with a wrong heart
50. Loving the praises of men
51. Passing sentence
52. Judging the weak
53. Judging the strong
54. Wrong eating
55. Mocking of illiteracy
56. Hate for the black man
57. Despising the Asian
The extraordinary thing was that nobody was keeping a count and I myself certainly had no sense of how many rights the spirit had named. At the end, when Dan ordered the spirit to identify the next right, there was nothing to say, so it just stopped and there were 57 rights, as it had said before listing them.
At that point, it was pretty clear what to do. In front of the others I confessed and repented of every single sin on that list, one by one, not holding anything back. When it was all done, Dan called back Lucifer, asked if there were any more rights (the answer was “No”) and then he cast it out and it left. From memory, it was similar to others where I experienced a tightening/lump in my throat which I then almost had to physically push up to my mouth and then heave/cough/shake it out.
Pastor Dan called up Horde and the immediate response was “Who are you and what is your authority?” Dan told Horde who he was and his authority as my senior pastor and that I had submitted to his leadership. Horde said nothing in response, but I sensed that Horde agreed and was satisfied with the response and acknowledged that authority.
Dan talked with Horde and discovered that Horde was actually an army of spirits, and that their leader was actually the spirit “No” who had been cast out the week before by Jay. Horde was incredibly unemotional and communicated like a soldier just waiting for orders – not caring what the orders were, just willing to follow orders by the correct lines of authority. At one point Kristin addressed the spirit and the spirit asked who he was and what his authority was. Kristin told Horde, but Horde refused to talk with him at all – my sense was that this was because it would only communicate with the “highest ranked” authority.
Without a leader, Horde was useless, inactive and actually asked to leave. It was essentially a dormant army waiting for orders from its leader that would never come. So Dan ordered it to leave and very quickly, with very little effort it was gone.
Dan called up Mocking next, but for a long time all Mocking would do was give mocking smiles and sniggers. After repeated commands and praying, finally Mocking was stirred up to the point that it began to converse and it actually talked a lot and would have talked a lot more if Dan had allowed it. It was essentially a spirit of pride, but was Mocking. Dan asked its rights and eventually discovered the following:
- The sin of pride was a right
- The sin of rejoicing in the weakness of others was a right
- I was bound by being in a constant state of elevation fuelled by the drug of pride – Mocking called me an addict
- The sin of mocking was a right
- Initial right was created when it entered through family lines – generational through the grandfather (many generations back)
- It had passed through to all 3 of my children
Mocking talked about and delighted in the passing of spirits through generations, describing it as a thing that was as “beautiful” and as simple as a river flowing downhill. He was dismayed and confused as to why we would want to stop that. But, stop that we did. In the name of Jesus I broke all generational ties that Mocking had, then spent some time commanding the spirit to leave my children. I also broke the addiction in the name of Jesus and confessed and repented of the sins Mocking had listed and I did not hold anything back. I was mad that it had done so much in my life and was planning on doing the same to my kids. I recognised pride as a core sin in my life and ABSOUTELY wanted it out by the power and name of Jesus.
Feasting was a fat, bloated, gluttonous spirit which we discovered was the source of addiction in my life. It didn’t care what the addiction was, it would feast on it. It used words such as “tasty”, “good meal” etc when describing sins and addictions. The past/present addictions it listed were:
- Pride (main food)
- New things
- Reading the bible
- Power and pride
- Eating food
There was one right which Feasting said was hidden and was scared to talk about it. After much pressing, Feasting told us that the right was held by another spirit and after more pressing finally revealed the name of the spirit – Domination. Feasting was scared to tell us and begged us not to tell Domination who had revealed him.
So we noted that and then I went through and confessed, repented and broke powers, holding nothing back. Feasting wouldn’t go without us breaking the last right (Domination), so Dan called up Domination.
Domination was very, very angry and aggressive – upset because he was hidden but had been found and demanded to know who had dobbed him in. Dan basically ignored what the spirit was saying and ordered it to list its rights. After some pushing, Domination said that there were some instances of dominating and being dominated through my life. Domination didn’t care whether it was dominating or being dominated – all it cared about was that domination was happening. The initial right was given just after birth. At that point I had a very clear picture in my mind of me as a baby that had just been born on a small table, surrounded by doctors and nurses in full gowns, face masks and caps. Domination said that I came through a doctor then. I was completely vulnerable and the doctor had a wrong spirit.
He also said he had shown himself to my children and created fear, saying “Fear is my child”.
So again, I went through everything – breaking, confessing, repenting.
Dan then cast out Domination and then called up Feasting. Feasting was very upset that Domination had gone, calling him “my husband”. Dan and the others got to work commanding it to leave in the name of Jesus and I at that moment I felt a large lump in my stomach – I actually physically felt it and I was really worried because I hadn’t had this lump there before – it felt like the size of a large orange. I then somehow knew what to do though and I got my hands and I began to push it up slowly and I could actually feel it rising inside me. I kept pushing it slowly up, through my chest, to my neck, then through my neck and then to my throat and mouth and then finally I flung it out of my body and it was gone. I felt that lump move the whole way up my body and then it got removed. I have never experienced anything like that in my life.
Sentinel had interrupted dealings with the other spirits numerous times, but this time when he was called up he was desperate because the spirits he was protecting had now gone. Dan talked with Sentinel, who after some prodding, said the following:
- It belonged to an Order (I sensed it belonged to something like a Order of Knights, where duty and mission are core values)
- It passed through male blood and was generational
- It’s job was to guard – nothing specific, but to have an encompassing guarding role where the purpose was to prevent Godliness entering and to protect things of the Devil
- It was also guarding my heart
At that point I had another very clear picture in my mind – of a door with a significant keyhole in it and I knew that it was the door to my heart that Sentinel was guarding. I told Dan this, so he pushed in again and after some pressing, Sentinel revealed that the holder of the key was the Holy Spirit.
Again we stopped and broke the power of the spirit, then returned and with much commanding, Sentinel was compelled to leave and he was gone.
At that point we were so happy. Dan and Bryan and Kristin were all ecstatic and cheering, while I was happy, but exhausted. We finished up and then I went out to the car by myself.
Before I drove off, I sat in the driver seat and thought about the door and the key and I said, “Holy Spirit, please use the key you have”. I had the picture clear in my mind and I watched as a swirling wind of light put the key in the lock and opened the door. Immediately light poured out the door and the walls attached to the door began to crack. Very quickly they cracked completely and fell to the ground and disappeared. What was left was my heart – perfect and white and glowing and shining. In awe I reached for it and held it in my hands. I then lifted my heart above my head and said “Here Jesus, this is yours.” Jesus reached down and took my heart in his hands with the greatest love. Then slowly, he descended into me so that my body was completely encompassed by his and, still holding my heart in his hands, he stopped when my heart was back in its place in my body – but being held by Jesus. My feeling at that point can only be described as happy – intense happiness and peace. I still have this feeling when I remember this.
Over the next few days I felt tired and somewhat dead. I felt unsure of what had happened and at times thought the spirits were back because I could feel lumps in my throat or had feelings that I had before. However, these were all lies. Absolute lies. I found out afterwards that spirits usually come back to try and rob the person of their freedom and that all that is required is to tell them to leave in the name of Jesus. When I found this out, I still experienced times of “old feelings” but with the power of Jesus I told them to go and every time they have and I have felt free again. Sometimes I have had to war for an hour, but most times a 1-2 minute prayer has been all that was needed. I feel different when I have these old feelings though – I feel surprised when I realise what I am feeling – it does not feel natural at all. I praise our Almighty God for what He has done in me.
Here are some (certainly not all) Befores and Afters - changes that I have noticed immediately and over the following couple of weeks as a direct result of this ministry.
Patience with kids
- Before: often easily frustrated with children, especially in times of stress and would regularly just leave and go to my study and leave my wife with them. Often I would get angry and treat or speak to them harshly and my anger would pervade the house and ruin family evenings.
- After: I am almost never frustrated to the point of anger by my children, I am much more patient and so much more loving and understanding. I am firm, but not angry. Evenings are rarely unpleasant and never because of anger from me.
Relationship with wife
-Before: I didn’t want to spend time with Rach as I wanted to do my own thing, especially getting on the computer, gaming or watching TV shows. I spent time with her because it was a good thing that a husband should do and I did want her to be happy – not because I wanted to. However, my focus was always on “completing the task” of spending time with her so I could go and do my own thing. I would go to bed much later than her so I could spend time on the computer and get up much later in the morning. I would often express anger, scorn, look down on her and give her disapproving and other negative looks. It would be extremely rare for me to share myself honestly with her. She tried many times to bring God into our relationship more, but I was largely disinterested and tried to avoid it.
- After: I love spending time with Rach. I love being with her, talking, praying together, even just being in the same room together. I always try to go to bed with her as I don’t want to be disconnected and I get up very soon after her in the morning. I have confessed and repented of so much stuff to her that has hurt her over the years. I am now the spiritual head of the house. I pray for the kids and her, bind the enemy’s influence and am leading our kids in loving Jesus. My stepping into this role has made a profound difference to our family.
- Before: I have gone through periods where I would game 60-80 hours per week, however my normal pattern was to game 4-5 hours in the evenings and 2-3 hours during the day.
- After: Jesus has completely broken my addiction I do not game, or desire to game, at all.
Relationship with Jesus
- Before: I was resigned to where I was at. I had tried stuff, prayed for change, but nothing significant had happened. I had received words from God, which I felt guilty and resigned about as well. I did not read my Bible much at all and prayed occasionally, attending church weekly.
- After: I want to spend all my time with Jesus. I have been so astounded and grateful by His grace. I did not deserve or ask for this change, but He came into my life and completely turned it around, dealing with issues that have been around for all my life within a matter of hours. I love spending time with Him hearing His voice, reading His word and praying. I have never really understood what loving Jesus is, but I now know.
Fatherhood of my kids
- Before: I would be happy to play with them, often joked around in a way that was confusing (leading them astray with the goal of humour), would be sometimes encouraging, but very quick to come down on them.
- After: I am building God into their lives with prayer and by speaking God into them. I have confessed and repented appropriately before them and asked their forgiveness for my behaviour. I express way more love to them and understanding. They, in return, have become much, much more responsive and loving towards me, with cuddles, kisses, cards, drawings and just talking.
- Before: I had tried my best to deal with my unforgiveness for Steve and had tried many times and methods to do so, but all had been unsuccessful. I was at the point where I thought it had faded out enough to not be an issue any more. I did not want to see him ever again though and would not have let him near my family.
- After: He is completely forgiven by me. I look forward to catching up the next time we bump into each other and I have no ill feelings at all towards him. It wouldn’t upset me if he came and lived in my street.
- Before: I will keep this short as it would take pages to discuss this all. My whole life has been saturated with Pride and I have been distant from people because of it and had it influence every single part of my life.
- After: It is something I am still dealing with, but I am dealing with it as you might deal with a lifelong habit – the power and hold of it is broken, but now I am working with the thoughts and thinking patterns I have ingrained. I am learning how much God has actually done for me and how I just don’t deserve it at all, which highlights just how much He loves me.
I was nothing.
But You loved me.
You are God.
Everything is Yours.